My white husband calls me ‘nigger bitch’ during sex

candiA heartbreaking story which reflects, albeit quite extremely, the experiences I and plenty of Blacks in my experience have had in intimate relationships with white folk.

This is why I find so much power and sense in this piece from which the excerpt below comes.

“i deal with racism everyday. i would like my house, my bed to be the one place, and probably the only place where i don’t have to deal with white racism. there are enough other dynamics to deal with. like being poly, being poor, queer, being a survivor, being a person with a history of disordered eating and having asthma. whiteness cannot come home with me. i don’t have the energy to dissect whether doggie style is actually a reinforcement of “the man’s” grasp on my economic mobility or feel like nude inspection by my lover has me back on auction blocks. i don’t want to be a fetish, an experiment, a prize. i’m not “brown sugar” spicy, or sassy. (i know, i know, not all white people are like this. k thanks, bye.) but a history of oppression, of racism, of slavery and genocide has very real, very psychic, traumatic impacts so i take care of myself by disengaging with white folks in that way.” – There’s a reason I don’t date white folks.

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